Friday, February 15, 2013

# family # parenting

Positive Attention Rewards

I have a sweet little 4-year old can behave well at times and get into trouble at times. She's a normal toddler. When she gets into trouble, she gets disciplined and loses privileges and such. However, when she behaves well and helps out, she normally gets a couple of words of praise and that's it. The scale of discipline and praise isn't quite balanced.

As I thought about it, I wanted to reward my daughter with something that let her know that she was appreciated and valued for her help and good behavior. However, I did not want to give her treats, toys, stickers, etc. I wanted the rewards to be special.

I came up with some "Positive Attention Rewards." They are basically rewards that require the parent (me and/or my husband) to give positive attention to the child. That's what all children want. They just want some attention. 

I put the following rewards on craft sticks and put them in a little jar. At the end of the day, my daughter gets to choose a reward for her good behavior and help during the day. These are some of my daughter's favorite activities. Some of these activities we do during the day anyway, but they are extra special at night because 1) my daughter doesn't really look forward to bedtime, and 2) daddy is home to join in on the fun.

Positive Attention Rewards
  • schedule a play date with a friend
  • love notes from mom & dad
  • play a game with mom & dad
  • go on a short walk and visit a neighbor
  • 10 minutes of art before bedtime
  • extra story at bedtime
  • extra song at bedtime
  • stay up extra 10 minutes
  • dance party
  • 10 minutes of computer games
  • free choice activity (game, craft, paint nails, etc.)
  • 10 minutes of cuddles at bedtime
  • massage (she likes arm and feet massages)
  • pick what's for breakfast, lunch or dinner
  • laundry basket ride (child sits in laundry basket and mom or dad pulls child on carpet, like an indoor sled)
  • wrestle with mommy and daddy
What I have noticed lately is that my daughter really wants these rewards at night so she is working harder to behave better during the day. I also want her to get these rewards so I'm trying my best to look at the big picture and let the little things go. It has also brought a fun feeling into our home because we are happier at night when we get to play together as a family before bedtime. 

If you have other suggestions for rewards, please leave a comment. I'm always looking for new rewards to add to the jar. 

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for this article. I have been trying to find a list of rewards for my 3 year old that didn't included food or purchasing books/toys, or things we did every day as a family anyway (Computer time, story time, outside time). It's not like I can take away family activities and then give them back as a reward ( 1) not cool, 2) shes too smart for that so it would backfire) so these options are great! Again, thank you very much.

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